Weekend (Chemsex) Warriors

I started as many of us do: a Weekend Warrior. 

Every other Friday night (I had the kids every other week) was my solo night with Tina. 

I'd smoke a bowl, and for some odd reason, I would put on makeup, attempt crafting projects, and take hundreds of selfies.

Who is THAT person??

Saturday, I would scrub my face and fire up Grindr, and well, you know the rest.

These were the days when I "had it under control." 

I believed that I had found the perfect scenario: meth on demand. 

However, soon, the weekend blurred into the work week. 

The work week blurred into the weekends I had the kids.

The weekends I had the kids blurred into daily active meth use. 

The takeover was slow and subtle. 

Methamphetamine knows exactly how to pick your pocket while making eye contact. 

Let me make this clear: you cannot negotiate with meth. You are not special. You are not different. 

If you are someone who only uses it on the weekends, this podcast is for you. 

This week, I take a deep dive into chemsex use with two new friends, Joe and Dr. C from Party Wise in L.A., especially among those MSM who are classified as "Weekend Warriors." What is a weekend warrior, you might ask? Well, listen to the podcast and find out :) 

Listen to the podcast HERE

Watch the podcast HERE

Podcast Study Guide

Understanding Weekend Warriors

A "weekend warrior" typically describes someone who uses meth (or other substances) primarily on weekends while maintaining employment and other life responsibilities during the week. This pattern often follows a predictable cycle:

• Monday: Struggling through work while coming down, possibly absent or barely functional
• Tuesday/Wednesday: Gradually recovering, functioning better
• Thursday: Beginning to anticipate weekend use, experiencing sleep disturbances, and planning
• Friday through Sunday: Using substances, engaging in chem sex

This pattern represents a dangerous phase in addiction progression. While users may believe they're maintaining control by restricting use to weekends, this pattern often leads to escalation, with weekend use gradually expanding to weekdays.

The Science & Psychology Behind the Pattern

The weekend warrior pattern isn't just a behavioral choice – it's deeply rooted in neurobiology, psychology, and social dynamics that create a powerful cycle:

Neurobiological Factors

• Dopamine & Anticipation: The brain begins releasing dopamine not just during use, but during the planning phase. By Thursday, your brain is already flooding with neurochemicals at the mere thought of weekend use – creating a "high before the high" that disrupts sleep and focuses attention.
• Brain Reward Pathways: Methamphetamine dramatically increases dopamine release (up to 1,200% above normal levels), creating pleasure sensations far beyond what natural activities can provide. This hijacks the brain's reward system, making ordinary pleasures feel insignificant by comparison.
• Tolerance & Neuroadaptation: Your brain adapts to repeated exposure by reducing dopamine receptors, requiring more substance for the same effect and leaving you feeling flat and depleted during the week – creating a biological drive to use again.
• Prefrontal Cortex Impairment: Regular meth use damages the brain's "executive function" center, impairing decision-making, impulse control, and foresight – making it increasingly difficult to maintain boundaries around use.

Psychological Dynamics

• Internalized Shame Cycles: Many in the MSM community carry deep shame from religious upbringing, family rejection, or societal stigma. Meth temporarily silences this shame, creating a powerful psychological dependency.
• Sexual Anxieties & Disinhibition: Meth eliminates sexual inhibitions, anxiety about performance, body image concerns, and pain – creating a sexual experience that feels impossible to replicate while sober.
• Trauma Response: Sexual or emotional trauma, particularly common in the LGBTQ+ community, creates nervous system patterns that seek regulation through substances. The drug becomes a form of self-medication for unprocessed trauma.
• Identity Formation: For many, the weekend warrior lifestyle becomes part of their identity – the exciting, sexual, uninhibited version of themselves that exists in contrast to the weekday professional self.

Social & Community Factors

• Dual Worlds: The pattern creates split identities – the responsible weekday self versus the liberated weekend self – that become increasingly difficult to reconcile.
• Community Normalization: Within certain social circles, this pattern is not only accepted but celebrated, creating an environment where problematic use is invisible because "everyone's doing it."
• Digital Access: Dating and hookup apps provide instant connection to both sexual partners and substances, creating a seamless pipeline to weekend use that's accessible from anywhere.

The combination of these factors creates a perfect neurobiological, psychological and social storm that makes the weekend warrior pattern extraordinarily difficult to break without addressing all dimensions of the cycle.

Signs Your Weekend Warrior Pattern Is Problematic

Monitor yourself for these warning signs that weekend use is becoming problematic:

• Increasing frequency (using beyond just weekends)
• Calling in sick to work on Mondays
• Sleep disruption patterns beginning Thursday
• Spending more money than intended
• Sexual dysfunction
• Physical health issues
• Relationship problems
• Legal issues
• Feelings of shame and regret that intensify over time
• Failed attempts to control or limit use

Harm Reduction Approach

If complete abstinence doesn't feel achievable right now, consider these harm-reduction strategies:

• Test substances for fentanyl and other contaminants
• Maintain hydration (keep a gallon jug visible)
• Use with trusted people in safe environments
• Take breaks to allow your body to recover
• Practice safer sex using PrEP, PEP, and regular testing
• Keep Narcan available
• Set some boundaries, even if small ones: amount to use, time to quit, etc

Remember: Harm reduction is not enabling—it's an evidence-based approach to keeping people alive and healthier while they work toward their goals.

Final Thoughts

Recovery is not one-size-fits-all.

Whether your path involves harm reduction, moderation, abstinence, or formal treatment, finding what works for you matters.

The weekend warrior pattern often represents a critical juncture—you still have important aspects of your life intact, but the trajectory may be pointing toward greater loss.

This is an opportunity to reflect honestly on where you are and where you're headed.

Small changes now can prevent major losses later.

You deserve a life that feels fulfilling both during the week and on weekends, without the crash, shame, and health consequences of the weekend warrior cycle.

Remember that shame is counterproductive to healing. Be kind to yourself while also being honest about whether your current patterns are serving you well.

Love you, Dallas 

Reflective Questions

Take time to honestly reflect on these questions. Write your answers down or discuss them with a trusted person.

1. Recognizing Patterns: What does your weekly cycle look like? Can you identify any patterns in your behavior that might indicate a weekend warrior lifestyle?

2. Impact Assessment: How is your current pattern of substance use affecting your work performance, relationships, physical health, and emotional wellbeing? What losses have you experienced as a result?

3. Motivations: What needs are you attempting to meet through weekend substance use? Connection? Escape from shame? Sexual confidence? Relief from anxiety?

4. Boundaries: Have you set boundaries around your use that you've later broken? What happened when those boundaries were crossed?

5. Future Trajectory: If your current pattern continues unchanged for 6 months or a year, what do you realistically predict will happen in your life?

Journal Prompts

Use these prompts for deeper personal exploration. Try to write freely without judging your thoughts.

1. My Weekend vs. Weekday Self: Describe in detail how you feel and behave on weekdays compared to weekends. What's different about these two versions of yourself? Which version feels more authentic?

2. Anticipation and Reality: Write about the difference between what you anticipate when planning weekend use versus the reality of what happens. Does the experience match your expectations?

3. The Morning After: Describe your feelings, thoughts, and physical state on Monday mornings. What thoughts go through your mind? How does your body feel? What emotions are present?

4. Lines in the Sand: What would have to happen for you to recognize you've lost control? What "rock bottom" are you trying to avoid? Have you already crossed lines you once thought you never would?

5. A Different Weekend: Imagine and describe in detail what a fulfilling weekend without substances might look like. What activities would you do? Who would you spend time with? How would you feel?

Action Exercises

These concrete steps can help you test your relationship with substances and develop healthier patterns.

1. Document Your Cycle: For the next 2-3 weeks, keep a daily log of:

   • Your sleep quality (hours and how rested you feel)
   • Substance use urges (rate intensity 1-10)
   • Actual substance use
   • Emotional state (anxious, content, irritable, etc.) Look for patterns that might reveal your personal cycle.

2. Controlled Experiment: If you believe you have control over your use, test this belief. Set specific parameters for one weekend:

   • Exact start and end times
   • Maximum amount you'll use
   • Specific boundaries you won't cross Afterward, honestly assess whether you stuck to your plan.

3. Barrier Planning: Make a list of all the ways you might access substances on a weekend. For each access point, develop a specific barrier you could put in place:

   • Delete apps and contacts
   • Give your phone to a trusted friend
   • Plan to stay with a non-using friend
   • Attend an event away from usual use locations Try implementing these barriers for just one weekend.

4. Support Identification: Make a list of people who:

   • Know about your substance use
   • You could trust to discuss it with
   • Could provide support during vulnerable times If your list is small, consider resources like PartyWise or similar organizations in your area.

5. Alternative Activities Exploration: Try at least one new substance-free activity each weekend for a month. This might include:

   • Attending a community event or class
   • Exploring nature
   • Taking a day trip
   • Joining a sports or activity group Note how you feel before, during, and after each activity.