5 Soul-Deep Ways to Unpack Your Triggers

What is your number one trigger? 

And I don't mean trigger to use drugs.

Just simply: When do you find yourself the most angry? 

Pause for a minute and answer the question. 

Whenever I ask this to my clients, there is always one commonality in their answers: it is always someone else's problem.

Some common replies:

"When my boss acts arrogant."

"My mom being my mom."

"When someone cuts me off in mid-sentence."

"When someone cuts me off in traffic."

"Whenever Donald Trump speaks."

We are getting triggers (I prefer to call them Emotional Activations, but for the sake of simplistic communication, I'll stick with trigger) ALL wrong. 

The strong emotion is OURS. We OWN it. It is not your mom's or Trump's fault or responsibility.

Emotions are the body's way of communicating with us. They are saying, "We need out!"

In other words, triggers are stuck emotions that live in our shadows.  The shadows that hide the beliefs we hold about ourselves.

Here's an example from my own life:

If you had asked me a few years ago what triggered me, I would have told you about the laziness of my teenage son. He reached driving age but had no job, seemed to have no drive, and, worst of all (in my opinion), didn't clean up after himself. 

A huge trigger for me was finding a pile of his dishes sitting in the sink, especially after coming home late from my second job as a server. I would see the sink and start screaming and slamming doors. Not my finest moment as a father. 

As time went on, I began learning about triggers and emotional regulation. I became determined to observe my reactions to life and seek to find the underlying message my body was telling me. This helped me shift from seeing my triggers as my son's problem (laziness) to my healing. 

So one day, after screaming and retreating to my room, I sat on my bed and, through my tears, asked my body to show me the message. After some time in silence, it became clear. I wasn't angry about the dishes. The behavior of my son reflected the guilt I still carried about how I behaved in active addiction. 

I saw the dishes directly reflect my shadow belief: I am a bad father. 

This discovery allowed me to show up differently as a man and father and marked a major milestone in my recovery journey. I became determined to discover all of my shadow beliefs. 

Are you ready to be set free? 

The Gift Hidden in Your Trigger

Whenever you feel emotionally hijacked, it's a flashlight illuminating something deeper.

That rage when your boss criticizes you? It's pointing to a belief that you're not enough.

That anxiety when your date doesn't text back? It's highlighting your fear of abandonment.

These triggers aren't random.

They're precise GPS coordinates leading you to the exact wounds that drove you to crystal in the first place.

Those emotional tsunamis we call "triggers" aren't evidence you're failing at recovery—they're actually golden breadcrumbs leading you directly to what needs healing.

Let's break down five powerful approaches that go beyond surface-level coping to help you extract the medicine from these emotional storms.

1. The Body Scan Excavation

Your body remembers what your mind tries to forget.

That knot in your chest, that fire in your belly—these physical sensations hold the key to understanding what drove you to crystal in the first place.

• Pause and close your eyes
• Scan your body from head to toe
• Notice where you feel tension, heat, contraction
• Ask that part of your body: "What memory are you holding?"
• Document which physical sensations preceded meth use
• Notice if there's a pattern between specific body sensations and cravings

Think about it—remember that tightness between your shoulder blades before you reached for crystal?

Or that hollow feeling in your gut?

Your body was speaking a language you couldn't translate yet.

When we slow down and listen, we discover our bodies have been keeping perfect scores of our emotional wounds all along.

I used to think my anxiety was just broken brain chemistry. Now I know that flutter in my chest is actually carrying decades of feeling unsafe in my own skin. Crystal temporarily silenced that flutter. Learning to feel, name, and stay with it has been more powerful than any substance ever.

2. The Timeline Tracing

Our triggers have family trees.

That rage that seems completely out of proportion when someone cancels plans?

It's probably not about today at all—it's echoing from a much earlier chapter of your story.

• Write down a recent trigger in detail
• Ask yourself: "When was the first time I felt this exact feeling?"
• Keep asking until you reach the earliest memory
• Notice what beliefs about yourself formed in that moment
• Explore how crystal temporarily altered these emotional patterns
• Draw connections between developmental wounds and substance use

This isn't just psychological mumbo-jumbo.

When you track a trigger back to its roots, something magical happens—it loses its power over you.

You realize you're not overreacting to your boss's criticism but responding to your dad's impossible standards from 20 years ago.

You're not really devastated by that guy ghosting you; you're feeling the abandonment from when you were seven and nobody came to pick you up.

Crystal was genius at temporarily disconnecting these painful dots. Recovery is about reconnecting them consciously, with compassion instead of chemicals.

3. The Need-Behind-The-Need Inquiry

Every trigger is protecting something that matters deeply to you.

Behind that defensiveness is a legitimate need for safety.

Behind that people-pleasing is a valid hunger for connection.

Behind that perfectionism is a real desire to be enough.

• Ask yourself: "What am I afraid would happen if I didn't react this way?"
• Then go deeper: "And what need is trying to be met through this fear?"
• Explore: "How did crystal meet this need for me before?"
• Consider: "What might be a more direct way to meet this need now?"
• Identify which specific emotions you were trying to amplify or dampen
• Create a needs inventory that maps emotions to underlying unmet needs

This shift is life-changing.

Instead of beating yourself up for being "triggered," you start getting curious: "What need is crying out to be met right now?"

Your anger isn't the problem—it's highlighting your need for respect.

Your shame isn't a character flaw—it's pointing to your need for acceptance.

Crystal was a brilliant shortcut to meeting these needs—temporarily. It made you feel powerful when you felt small. Connected when you felt invisible. Present when you felt numb. Recovery isn't about white-knuckling through cravings; it's about finding more direct, sustainable ways to honor these same legitimate needs.

4. The Shadow Integration Ritual

Sometimes what triggers us most in others is what we've disowned in ourselves.

That guy whose "neediness" drives you up the wall? He's reflecting the vulnerable part of you that you've denied.

The friend whose "irresponsibility" triggers your judgment? She's mirroring your own disowned desires for freedom.

• Identify who or what pushes your buttons the most
• Ask: "What quality in this person/situation am I rejecting in myself?"
• Write a dialogue between yourself and this quality
• End with: "The gift this shadow brings me is..."
• Notice which parts of yourself you've disowned or judged harshly
• Explore how crystal allowed you to access these disowned parts temporarily

This gets to the heart of why crystal felt so freeing.

For many of us, it temporarily allowed us to access parts of ourselves we'd locked away.

The "good kid" finally expresses anger.

The "responsible one" finally cuts loose.

The "invisible one" finally takes center stage.

Recovery isn't about becoming more restricted—it's about becoming more whole. When you consciously reclaim these disowned parts of yourself, you need substances less because you're no longer waging war within.

5. The Belief Archeology Dig

Under every trigger is a core belief waiting to be excavated and examined.

These aren't just thoughts—they're the fundamental lenses through which you see reality, most formed before you could even talk.

• Write the triggering situation at the top of a page
• Below it, write: "I feel this way because..."
• Answer, then ask "Why?" to that answer
• Continue 5-7 times until you hit a core belief
• Ask: "Is this absolutely true? Who would I be without this belief?"
• Connect how crystal temporarily silenced or altered these core beliefs

This is where the deepest healing happens.

When you dig down through the layers of a trigger, you often hit bedrock beliefs like "I'm fundamentally unlovable," "The world is never safe," or "I have to be perfect to belong."

These aren't conscious choices—they're conclusions your brain made based on early experiences, now running silently in the background of your life.

Crystal was a genius at temporarily silencing these beliefs. For a few hours, you could feel worthy, safe, powerful, or free—whatever your core belief normally denies you. In recovery, instead of silencing these beliefs with substances, we bring them into the light and question them directly.

Remember, your triggers aren't evidence you're failing at recovery; they're precisely the raw material needed for the most profound transformation.

This isn't about becoming triggered less; it's about relating to your triggers differently.

You are not broken.

You are not your past.

You are not your addiction.

You are a magnificent soul in the midst of the most courageous journey there is—coming home to yourself.

I love you so much.

Dallas

This Week's Integration Practice: The Trigger-to-Treasure Map

Choose one recurring trigger this week. Create a visual map that traces:

• The surface emotion (what you feel first)
• The underlying emotion (what's beneath that)
• The core belief (the foundation)
• The unmet need (what's truly wanting attention)
• The crystal connection (how the substance temporarily "solved" this)
• Alternative medicine (new ways to meet this need)

Put this somewhere private but visible. Each time this trigger arises, add new insights to your map. Watch how what once seemed like a bomb threatening your recovery transforms into a compass guiding your healing.