Ketamine Treatment AfterMeth

My first psychedelic experience happened in the "Goddess" room of a real-life Goddess.

I had been abstinent from meth for almost two years and about 8 months into my spiritual journey (for the full story of how I began that journey, tune into Episode 1:2 Dallas's Story). 

The "sitter" or "guide" (the Goddess I mentioned) took me through a basic orientation and allowed me to get comfortable on a large cushion. 

Handing me a handful of dried mushrooms, we prayed together.

This is the set and setting for healing psychedelics. 

That evening, my life - and my recovery- changed forever. 

The perspective of myself that held me captive for decades melted away and I emerged feeling the most glorious love and empathy I had ever known.

That night, I found what I thought meth had given me. But it wasn't temporary or chemically forged. 

I'm proud to offer you this experience to show that there are no "rules" when it comes to recovery from crystal meth. 

Find whatever works for you, and don't look back.

I am so grateful I did. 

This week's podcast covers an option for many of us in the treatment of trauma and addiction: Therapist-assisted Ketamine. 

Listen and Watch the Episode HERE

Addiction often stems from deeper sources than we initially recognize.

Whether you're struggling with substance use, in early recovery, or supporting someone through this journey, understanding the connection between trauma, beliefs, and addictive behaviors can transform your approach to healing.

Understanding Trauma's Impact

Trauma isn't always what we think it is.

It's not limited to catastrophic events like accidents or abuse.

Trauma can be as subtle as a teacher's dismissive glance, a parent's emotional unavailability, or feelings of not belonging.

What matters most isn't what happened to you, but what you came to believe about yourself because of those experiences.

These beliefs become the lenses through which we see ourselves and the world.

If you believe "I'm not accepted" or "I'm not enough," your mind constantly looks for evidence to support these views, creating patterns that can lead to addiction as a way to numb painful feelings or temporarily escape restrictive beliefs.

Beliefs and Your Reality

Your beliefs literally shape your experience of reality.

If you believe you're unlovable, you'll notice every hint of rejection while missing signals of acceptance.

This isn't just psychological - these beliefs create physical responses in your body, storing emotions as tension, restriction, or shutdown.

Substances like crystal meth provide temporary relief by chemically overriding these belief systems.

They create a false sense of confidence, acceptance, or power - temporarily freeing you from the prison of limiting beliefs, but ultimately strengthening their hold through shame and isolation.

Reflective Questions:

1. What recurring feelings or situations tend to trigger your strongest urges to use substances or engage in addictive behaviors?

2. Can you identify any core beliefs about yourself that might be driving these triggers? (Examples: "I'm not enough," "I don't belong," "I'm unlovable")

3. How might your addictive behavior be attempting to "solve" the pain these beliefs cause you?

4. When you use substances, what uncomfortable feelings or thoughts are you able to temporarily escape?

5. What patterns in your relationships might reflect your core beliefs about yourself?

Stored Trauma in the Body

Your body holds memories your conscious mind might not fully recognize.

Trauma responses like fight, flight, freeze, or fawn get stored in your nervous system when they can't be fully expressed or processed.

This is why seemingly minor triggers can cause overwhelming physical and emotional reactions.

Addictive substances often work by temporarily releasing this stored tension, creating a false sense of relief or freedom. However, this prevents genuine healing and processing of the underlying trauma.

Shame and Addiction Cycles

Shame is particularly relevant to addiction.

Developmentally, shame serves to keep young children safe by preventing them from wandering too far from caregivers.

However, when shame becomes a primary emotional driver in adulthood, it creates a painful sense of being fundamentally flawed or unworthy.

Substances temporarily relieve this shame, but the behaviors that occur during substance use often create even more shame afterward, perpetuating the cycle.

Breaking this pattern requires addressing the shame directly through self-compassion and understanding the protective purpose behind addictive behaviors.

Journal Prompts:

1. Describe a moment when you felt triggered emotionally. Where did you feel it in your body? What sensations arose (tightness, heat, emptiness, etc.)?

2. Write about a time when your substance use provided temporary relief. What feelings were you escaping, and how did your body feel before, during, and after use?

3. Reflect on your earliest memory of feeling shame. What happened, and what did you conclude about yourself from that experience?

4. Write a compassionate letter to the part of yourself that turns to addictive behaviors for relief. What is this part trying to protect you from?

5. Describe a moment when you allowed yourself to fully feel a difficult emotion instead of numbing it. What happened? How did it compare to your expectations?

Beyond Talk Therapy

While traditional talk therapy helps many people, addressing trauma often requires approaches that directly engage the body and access deeper levels of consciousness.

When the rational mind can step aside, the body often knows how to release stored trauma through movement, sound, or emotional expression.

Various modalities - from ketamine-assisted therapy and psychedelics to EMDR, somatic experiencing, and breathwork - can help access these deeper layers.

The key is finding approaches that help you safely process stored emotions and rewrite limiting beliefs.

Integration and Sustainable Recovery

Healing experiences - whether through substances, therapy, or spiritual practices - only create lasting change when integrated into daily life.

This means consciously choosing new responses to old triggers, developing self-compassion practices, building supportive relationships, and consistently challenging limiting beliefs.

True recovery isn't just abstaining from substances but building a life that doesn't require escape.

This means cultivating genuine connection, finding purpose, and developing healthier ways to process emotions and meet your needs.

Action Exercises:

1. Body Awareness Practice: For one week, set three daily alarms. When each alarm sounds, pause and scan your body from head to toe, noting any areas of tension, comfort, or neutrality. Practice this without judgment, simply observing what's present.

2. Trigger Tracking: Create a simple log to track your strongest urges or triggers. Note the situation, thoughts, emotions, body sensations, and beliefs that arise. Look for patterns after collecting at least 10 entries.

3. Safe Release Exploration: Identify three physically active ways to release emotions that feel safe for you (examples: vigorous exercise, screaming into a pillow, dancing to intense music, shaking). Practice one method when you notice emotional tension building.

4. Compassion Cultivation: Each morning, place your hand on your heart and say aloud: "This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of being human. May I be kind to myself in this moment." Notice how this practice affects your day.

5. Support System Strengthening: Make a list of people who make you feel seen, accepted, and supported. Commit to reaching out to one person from this list each week for the next month, even briefly.

Reclaiming Identity Beyond Addiction

Addiction narrows your identity, gradually becoming the center around which life revolves.

Recovery involves rediscovering or creating an expanded sense of self - one with diverse interests, connections, and sources of meaning.

This might mean reconnecting with old passions, exploring new activities, building relationships outside recovery circles, or finding ways to contribute to others' wellbeing.

The goal is developing a life rich enough that substances lose their appeal.

Transforming Wounds into Wisdom

Many people find that their recovery journey eventually provides gifts they couldn't have anticipated.

The very experiences that caused suffering can become sources of strength, insight, and connection when processed and integrated.

This doesn't mean trauma was "worth it" or happened "for a reason," but rather that humans have remarkable capacity to create meaning even from painful experiences.

Your story and insights might eventually help others on similar paths.

Reflective Questions:

1. What activities made you lose track of time as a child or teenager? How might you reconnect with these interests?

2. What qualities or values do you want to be known for beyond your recovery status?

3. How has your experience with addiction given you insights or perspectives that others might not have?

4. What environments, people, or activities help you feel most authentic and at ease?

5. If you were free from limiting beliefs about yourself, what might you pursue or create?

Daily Habits for Nervous System Regulation

Healing from trauma and addiction requires consistent practices that help regulate your nervous system.

Small, regular actions often have more impact than occasional intense experiences.

Consider incorporating practices like breathwork, meditation, physical movement, creative expression, time in nature, or meaningful connection into your daily routine.

The goal is gradually training your system to feel safe enough to process emotions rather than needing to escape them.

Community and Connection

Humans heal in community.

While the inner work of recovery is essential, equal attention must be given to building supportive relationships where you can be authentic, vulnerable, and accepted.

This might include recovery communities, spiritual groups, creative collaboratives, or friendship circles.

The key is finding spaces where you can be honest about your struggles while not being reduced to them.

Journal Prompts:

1. What daily practices currently help you feel grounded, present, and regulated? How might you build on these?

2. Describe your ideal support community. What qualities would members have? What kinds of interactions would you share?

3. What parts of yourself have you kept hidden out of shame or fear? How might gradually sharing these aspects affect your recovery?

4. Write about a moment when connection with another person helped you resist the pull toward addictive behavior.

5. Reflect on how your relationship with yourself has changed throughout your recovery journey. What self-talk or self-treatment has shifted?

Patience and Non-Linear Healing

Recovery rarely follows a straight line.

Progress often comes in waves, with periods of growth followed by seeming setbacks that are actually opportunities for deeper healing.

Developing patience with this process is itself a healing practice.

Each time you respond to triggers, cravings, or shame spirals with compassion rather than judgment, you're rewiring neural pathways and creating new possibilities.

Self-Compassion as the Foundation

Throughout your recovery journey, self-compassion is the essential foundation.

This doesn't mean excusing harmful behaviors but understanding their origins and meeting yourself with kindness as you work to change them.

When shame arises - and it will - practicing self-compassion interrupts the cycle that leads back to substance use.

Treating yourself with the same care you would offer a struggling friend creates space for genuine change rather than simply battling against unwanted behaviors.

Action Exercises:

1. Recovery Timeline Creation: Create a visual timeline of your recovery journey, noting both challenges and victories. Include moments of insight, connection, relapse, and growth. Notice patterns and honor how far you've come.

2. Compassionate Accountability Partner: Find someone you trust to check in with regularly. Create agreements about how you'll hold each other accountable with compassion rather than judgment or shame.

3. Sensory Grounding Kit: Create a small container with items that engage your five senses in calming ways (something to smell, taste, touch, see, and hear). Use this kit when overwhelmed by cravings or difficult emotions.

4. Values Clarification: List your top 5-7 values (examples: authenticity, connection, creativity, service). For each value, identify one simple action you can take this week to live in alignment with it.

5. Gratitude Practice: Each evening, write down three specific experiences from the day that you appreciate. Include small moments as well as significant events. Notice how this shifts your attention over time.

Conclusion

Recovery is more than abstaining from substances - it's a journey toward wholeness, authenticity, and connection.

By addressing the underlying trauma and beliefs that drive addictive behaviors, you can create lasting change that transforms your relationship with yourself and others.

Remember that you don't have to make this journey alone.

Seek support, be patient with yourself, and trust the wisdom of your own healing process.

Each step toward understanding yourself more fully is a step toward freedom.

With courage, compassion, and commitment, you can build a life so meaningful and fulfilling that addiction loses its power.

The same sensitivity and depth that may have made you vulnerable to addiction can become your greatest strength in recovery.

Dallas 

This study guide is meant as a supportive resource and is not a substitute for professional treatment. If you're struggling with addiction, please reach out to qualified healthcare providers, counselors, or recovery support groups in your area.