Do You Know Who You Are?

In this issue:

*Featured Article: "Discovering Your True Nature"

*Supplemental YouTube Video: "Feeling Lost? Find Yourself!"

*Recent Podcast Appearance: "Together S.O.B.E.R."

*Quick Guide for Overwriting Limiting Beliefs Testimonial

Next Week: Leading Authentically in a World of Facades

I turned off the headlights after pulling into the driveway after a long day at work. I could see the silhouettes of my kids running toward the door to greet me. I leaned my head back to rest on the seat wondering why I didn’t feel more grateful. I took a deep breath and opened the car door to begin the nightly routine toward my bedtime descent.  

I wondered if this is what disassociation felt like.  It was as if I was watching life happen to me. I was simply a character in a dream. By all accounts I should have been happy but inside it felt as if I was rotten and empty.  

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Have you ever felt invisible in your own life?  

I felt lost because I was making decisions based on shoulds and supposed-to-bes. How could I ever align with my authenticity if none of my life decisions were based on my personal values and needs?  And how could I make decisions based on my values if I had no idea what they were?      

If someone asked you today “Who are you?” would you be able to answer? Pause for a moment and answer this question.  Do you know who you are and your definite purpose?  If not, why not?

Going through the motions every single day in default mode can feel numbing. Making decisions based on societal norms and the entrapment of your cyclical thinking patterns makes you a living robot.

“No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” Neitzshe.

My story was written by the church and cultural norms which orchestrated my decisions for over thirty years. My identity was a facade. Eventually, the only way to numb this pain was crystal meth.

So, if you aren’t dictating the direction of your life, who or what is?  Sometimes it can be institutions and people outside of yourself.  Other times, and most often, we default to the subconscious programming (beliefs) that we’ve picked up during our lifetime.

By becoming a student of myself, I was able to unravel the programming that was dictating my life’s journey. Today, I know who I am, what I want, and where I’m going. Here are some recommendations based on what worked for me:

Begin to Question Everything.

Take a step back to observe your life. Ask the why behind everything you think, say, and do. If your why is related to external expectations, this is your starting point to make changes.  

Imagine you are a scientist looking down on yourself like a lab rat.  You are studying every move.  The journey toward self-discovery begins with seeking to understand the motives behind your thoughts, words, and behavior.  Take lots of notes via journaling and commit to objective and nonjudgemental observation.

Suggested prayer: “Allow all self-centeredness to be removed so that I can see myself through objective lenses.”

Get Uncomfortable.

Embracing self-discovery may feel as if you are going against every natural tendency that feels good. It can be painful to face the shadows of your existence and to reflect on traumatic memories that you may have repressed. Do it scared.

Taking the reigns of your life is going to feel unnerving. This is a shock to your nervous system.  The pathways you’ve formed in your brain are not going to change easily.  Imagine a common path through the woods that you take every day. Now imagine trying to create a new path through untamed wilderness.  This will take some time and effort and you will feel disoriented at times.

Suggested prayer: “I anchor into self-love no matter how disoriented I feel during the transition from living in default mode to discovering my true self.”

Honor the Entirety of Your Experience.

You will find yourself experiencing some intense emotions. You will also repeat old patterns and continue to be triggered.  It is important to pause and observe these experiences with loving curiosity. Remember that all experiences are meant to help, so labeling them “good” or “bad” inhibits progress.

Creating (or returning to) your identity is not a process that can be measured by how happy you feel.  When you begin making decisions against the desires of people and establishments, you will uncover all sorts of underlying trauma.  Your nervous system will try to protect you from the intensity of these trapped energies. This means some high highs and low lows.  Honor all of it as part of the journey.

Suggested prayer: “Allow me to love the ebs and flows of my journey and honor the process.”

Define Your Why.

What is your heart’s desire? What is your purpose? If you could do anything and get paid for it, what would it be? Some strong journaling and reflection here will help you define your individual values. This will be your foundation for answering “Who are you?”

What are your specific values and how do these show up in all aspects of your life? While this may evolve throughout the years, establishing foundational values will act as a Northstar that will center you through any chaos external to yourself. The answer to "Who are you?" can be as simple as listing your three top values.

Suggested prayer: “I center myself and listen to my heart’s desire to uncover my why and I allow it to evolve with the seasons.”

Interrupt Patterns with Micro-Changes.

Identify patterns in your life and ask “Do I want to continue repeating these patterns?” If the answer is no, make one micro change. Decide for yourself how you could make a choice that is the total opposite of what you’d normally do.  This will begin the process of breaking free from the programming running your life.  

Only you can know when you are incongruent with your true nature and your higher self.  Patterns can oftentimes hold you in the space of misalignment because that is where you feel safe and comfortable.  Being out of congruence can lead to depression, anxiety, and physical illness (dis-ease).

Suggested prayer: “Allow me to discern where I am incongruent with my higher self and show me one tiny change I can make in my behavioral pattern today.”

We are meant to live in a state of freedom and harmony with our higher selves. Why waste another minute living otherwise? These are the beginning steps I took to pull myself out of feeling like a character in a story being written for me.  Now I am the author and creator.

I’d love to hear from you.  Do you have a similar story?  Do you know someone who seems to have it all but can never feel happy? Share this article with them! Feedback and comments are always welcomed.

For more on this topic, visit my latest YouTube Video: Feeling Lost? Find Yourself! And don't forget to subscribe to my channel so you won't miss future videos.

Take a listen to my latest Podcast appearance.  Louise has created one of the best sober communities I've seen anywhere.  I was honored to be a guest!

I have such gratitude and motivation around seeing testimonials from people utilizing my Quick Guide for Overwriting Limiting Beliefs.  Real people resolving real trauma!  See Jeff's note below:

I send this newsletter wrapped in earnest prayer.  May this energy land on your heart because it comes from mine.  

Please reach out if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions.  

P.S. I've taken on two new clients this week!! This means I have only three slots left for new clients until August.  Take advantage of my free session offer if you'd like to explore coaching together.  

Join me on the journey toward WHOLENESS!

Dallas