7 Tenets of (Self-Actualized) Recovery
"From Professor to Prostitute."
That's the title of a recent social media video of mine that performed well.
You can watch it for yourself on Instagram if interested:
Yeah, the shock value of the title hooks in the audience.
But, the underlying message is that ridding your life of the substance/behavior does not necessarily mean you are living in a state of "sobriety".
After I quit using crystal meth, I was left with an underlying sex addiction.
Yes, I needed money. Lots of it and quickly. But, was being a sex worker my only option? Of course not.
I was still behaving like an addict. A type of relapse that didn't show up on a drug test.
And therein lies the problem: many of us are operating from old addictive patterns that are hiding in plain sight.
Patterns, beliefs, and paradigms that are driving our life experience just below the surface.
Are you still under the subtle influence of addiction?
I've addressed similar topics in several other newsletters:
๐ Sober Not Sober
๐ Are you Buffering or Recovering
๐ Emotional Sobriety
Also, don't forget the 12 Steps revised to reflect Self-Actualization:
5 1/2 years later, I've evolved.
I've come to understand that recovery is a dynamic process. The goal is to pursue one's fullest potential within a growth state of mind.
We move beyond reliance on external factors (meetings, sponsors, rehab, drug tests) into self-empowerment.
Addiction fades into an experience that informs your story instead of becoming the core of your identity.
Essentially, we want to strive for Self-Actualization.
Self-actualization is living to your fullest potential in every situation.
Self-actualization is NOT being concerned with how others are living and operating.
To live a self-actualized existence, you believe that every single element of your life experience is created by you. This also means that life can only be altered by you as well.
Let's take it a step further: Self-actualized Recovery.
Self-actualized Recovery is not a destination, but a state of being. Some characteristics are profound personal growth, fulfillment, and a deep sense of purpose and meaning in life. It goes beyond mere abstinence from substances and encompasses holistic well-being across physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions.
Here is a cursory look into the 7 Tenets of Self-Actualized Recovery, each will be fleshed out over the next eight weeks:
Sobriety: The minimum expectation is that you abstain or moderate from the substance or behavior. I think that's a given. The important point here is that "sober" is defined solely by you for YOUR individual needs.
Personal Development: The daily pursuit of addressing underlying issues such as trauma, mental health challenges, and unhealthy coping mechanisms through therapy, coaching, self-reflection, and other personal growth practices such as journaling.
Authenticity: To live authentically in Recovery means to seek and embrace your shadows. Where are your blind spots? How can you improve every relationship and situation by improving yourself? This requires honesty and clear communication.
Emotional Well-Being: Emotional well-being is central to self-actualized recovery. This includes managing emotions effectively, developing healthy coping strategies, building resilience, and fostering positive relationships.
Mindfulness and Awareness: Self-actualized recovery often involves mindfulness practices and self-awareness. This includes being present in the moment, observing thoughts and emotions without judgment, and cultivating a deeper understanding of oneself.
Connection and Community: Individuals in self-actualized recovery seek collaboration with others at all times. They see situations as opportunities for co-creation. They engage in relationships that nurture mutual support and most of all offer containers of nonjudgement for all routes to sobriety.
Transcendence: The embodiment that we are all one. Anytime you act, think, or behave as if any of us on the planet are separate from one another, you are denying the unity of mankind. This requires you to understand that no one is outside of you. More to come on this.
There is more to sobriety than being substance-less. The next chapter in our lives is living in Recovery.
Being recovered means we improve daily, find purpose, and deep contentment, and addiction becomes part of our past, not a dictate of our future.
If you would like to join the conversation, please reply to this email and let's talk! I'm also taking on new clients if you'd be interested. I'm taking many people past being substance-less into a new way of living.
Love! Dallas ๐
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